a note for first-timers

If it's your first time here and you're new to blogs, the first post you'll see is the most recent so that's where you should be ending, rather than starting. Otherwise, carry on...

Please, feel free to comment - you know you want to.

why didn't I think of that!

Thanks, Caye, for pointing out that Men - and, as a direct consequence, Noah - are from Mars and that Women are from Venus.

The New York Times obviously didn't go far enough with their claims after all. What a shame. They really ought to have slipped that in somewhere, I think. I would've. Actually, I probably wouldn't - but only because I wouldn't have remembered the bloody thing. Obviously. Dammit!

I feel all deflated now. *sigh*

and on the eighth day, God created His paranoid followers

Oh good God, what is the world coming to? Other than an end, I mean - assuming Mr Cole Coker is correct.

Still in the whole "Secret Message" mind-set, I clicked on a couple of links and came across this absolute beauty asking: Was Noah a Martian?. Didn't I say that a secret message can be found in just about anything? Yes; yes I did. Less than an hour ago, in fact.

Now, according to Ken Ham - who wrote the article - a New York Times article claims that "Noah's Flood actually occurred on Mars". To justify his understanding of the article, he puts forward the truly startling revelation that the New York Times described it as "a 'Noachian' event". Sweet Holy Jesus! That just about it seals the deal, doesn't it?

Well... no. As it happens. For the term "Noachian", you see, has sweet f.a. to do with the chappy from the Bible who apparently rounded up two of every animal and put them on a big boat - sorry "Ark" - he'd built.

In fact, it simply relates to a place on Mars and, following a very quick Google search, this becomes entirely apparent. See for yourself.

Even if the term did - and let us not forget that it doesn't - relate in some way to the Biblical Noah, what a huge jump it is to claim that the New York Times was suggesting that Noah was actually a Martian. Not only has he cottoned on to non-facts, he's also twisted those non-facts into something else entirely. Silly, silly man. *sigh*

I'd write to him and tell him he's being an eejit but I suspect he'd declare me a follower of Lucifer and request that God smite me. So, with that in mind, I shall sit here instead, acting all meek, and hopefully inherit whatever's left of the Earth someday.

La la laaaa...

ohhh kaaayyy

I've been at that thing again, I'm afraid. I know, I know - I should keep well away and not find titillation (for want of a better, but no less interesting, word) in the blogs of others.

In any case, I stumbled upon this effort and, mostly because it was the first one I'd encountered that was in English, decided to have a wee look-see. I was not disappointed. A little perturbed, perhaps, but not disappointed.

Religion's always interesting and amusing to me in equal portions. This, though, is an example of when someone believes they've found the true meaning of The Bible. Oh, what fun! Now, I'm not saying he's wrong or anything (though I'm forced to question it when I view his profile and discover "Gospel Music and Country Classics" as his favourite music), but surely a secret message can be found in just about anything. I'd add "and everything", but we've been over that before.

Most troubling to me, however, is not that he's getting carried away about the end of the world - it's that he's chosen the same basic template as me. Dammit!

transfer complete

At long, long last I've gone through my old blog - no, you can't have the address to that one - and brought across the remainder of the posts.

I left a fair few out - either because they were rubbish or they were about something I'd kinda prefer to forget - but the majority have made it in.

All the new ones are going to appear at their original time of posting, though, so you'll have to have a hunt about to find them. The bulk are around December '04 and January '05.

Eeeeeeeeeeeexcellent.

twaddle

I was just having a look at the BBC News website and noticed a story in the Sports section about the seemingly-soon-to-be-vacant England Football Manager's position.

Now, I wouldn't normally comment on such things, but the following quote from Dave Richards - the Chairman of the Premier League - really stood out for me:

"We are the biggest nation in the world that plays this game and we want someone who can really move us on"

Is that true? Is England really the biggest nation in the world that plays football? Is it buggery! This is a diddy little country with a population of, what, fifty million or so. China have a national football team, do they not? And, if I'm not mistaken, they also have a domestic league set-up. Eejit-boy Richards! Pfft!

Sorry about that. Carry on everyone. I just thought I'd point it out. *ahem*

bobbins

I've discovered I love that word. Someone used it yesterday to describe the quality of a dream I offered her. She seemed to be largely unimpressed by it, which is a shame because it really is a nice wardrobe.

And now I find myself wondering whether I'm going to soon see adverts for sewing and knitting supplies. That's what bobbins are actually to do with, right? Or am I just being silly there? Hmmm...

Anyway, great word. And now I know you're hooked too. I make no apologies for I want you to start using it in each and every conversation you have.

Get going and spread the good word. Amen.

adsense

I signed up to this AdSense thingamy yesterday, here on BlogSpot (excuse any incorrect capitalisation there) and, at the last check, had made the grand total of $1.33. How exciting!

The odd thing, though, is that it seems to want to keep directing people to sites about Tea. There's only one post about it in the whole blog, so AdSense's fascination with Mondomundi for Tea and Finest Fairtrade Teas is puzzling to me.

I thought there'd be a bunch of stuff for otters and products to improve sarcasm and eejiticity. Surely that's what my blog's all about. Isn't it? Or have I missed my own obsession with the caffeine-based beverage?

See, now I'm probably going to find myself trying to avoid even mentioning the hot drink you get in a mug and add milk to directly just to see if I can get them to change to something else.

I could probably list a whole bunch of profane words and body parts in an attempt to have porn websites listed on here... but that might put some of the more timid of you off returning. And who's gonna click on an something for porn when they're illicitly reading a blog at work anyway?

backety backety back

Okay, so I kinda went missing for a while. I admit it. I wasn't about and fulfilling my responsibilities as a conscientious blogger. I've been a bad otter. *sigh*

But, before you go off in search of rocks and things to throw at me, let me just give you a little insight into my reasons for not having been about - and perhaps then you'll spare me the stoning...

I've been immensely bored, naturally, but I've also been suffering from a distinct sense of apathy. 'Tis an affliction, I tell thee; an affliction!

See? And there was you thinking I just couldn't be bothered. Ohhhhh no - it was something else entirely.

And with that, Your Honour, I rest my case.