a note for first-timers

If it's your first time here and you're new to blogs, the first post you'll see is the most recent so that's where you should be ending, rather than starting. Otherwise, carry on...

Please, feel free to comment - you know you want to.

this post has been given a "12" by the Posts Classification Board, meaning you should leave it twelve hours before eating afterwards

Inquisitor:"Why do you have to leave early?"
Me:"To have my ears waxed."

Yes, I did say that. And felt quite the fool. I immediately had this image of driving into a carwash and having a seventeen-year-old lad come at me with a bottle of Turtle Wax and a cloth to give my ears a good buff. Not a nice image, I have to say.

Anyway, I did go and have my ears syringed (rather than waxed) today - well, one of them anyway - and it was, somewhat surprisingly, a really really unpleasant experience. I had them syringed back in November by a beautiful lady, but this time it was a forty-something Irish woman who was rather too keen for me to return should I ever feel the need to have her perform an aural version of a colonic irrigation on me again. I've never had a colonic irrigation, incidentally, and if the syringing of my ear today is anything to go by I'd rather take my chances with a box of prunes and hope for the best.

Still, at least now I can hear the clicking of the keys as I type somewhere in the region of 0.4% better. So that's a good thing. Sort of. Actually, it's a good thing in the sense that it does at least mean there's no shite (of any sort) in there now.

I do hope you weren't sitting at your computer reading this expecting to tuck into that cream cake you've had in the fridge since you got back from the shops and had been saving for just the right moment when you were all relaxed. I think I may have killed that mood, I'm afraid. Apologies.

I shall henceforth refrain from talking about icky stuff. Hmmmm... what's that on the bottom of my shoe...?